I am starting to wonder re the crying. It is getting less (just tearful now rather than full sobbing) and I do wonder how to react to this.
I am trying very hard not to be pursuing in anyway but I wonder if that is making me come accross as cold. Should I go to hug her when she is like this?
We had a spell where she initiated the hugs and even a kiss, followed by more upbeat txts with smiley faces and kisses but then she pulled right back these last few weeks. It is since the xmas episode when she withdrew her invitation for xmas dinner.
I am trying not get drawn into that dynamic as deep down I suppose it did build my hopes up and I need to protect myself. I hit the ground hard when she did pull back.
Part of what has been on my mind since is related to xmas as I did wonder that her not wanting the kids xmas morning meant she would spend it with OM and have the kids in the afternoon. IDK, but I don't know of any mother that would not want to spend xmas morning with her kids.....and she was very keen for me to have them xmas eve into xmas morning....which did work for me but the thought of PA is like a cloud that keeps coming over.
When I am at work, doing my GAL things or with S I don't think about it. But when I have a quiet moment it comes flooding back if that makes sense.
and the frustrating thing is I know I should not be focussing on her or any of what I have just typed...but I am noticing a pattern where I have 2-3 weeks good and a week of this!!!
