How is your health. Goto the gym and get fn shredded. Get new clothes. You say you're an Engineer. Are you a dorky Engineer? Try to change it. Don't take offense. I'm a SAN engineer and just know the territory.
I'm in pretty good shape. More of a runner's body with some definition. Been getting to the gym 5-6 times a week since BD and starting to bulk up a little and getting rid of fat around midsection (goal is 6-pack for cruise but we'll see, haven't had one since I was 18 or 19 and body doesn't do everything I want anymore). Probably running too much to put on any real mass but I've got a busy year ahead of me. Have a half marathon, a full marathon, and a tough mudder scheduled for this year (tough mudder is the one that has me the most nervous).
As far as style goes I fit more in with the sales guys than the engineers. I know what you mean and take no offense to it. I have changed my image a little in the non-work clothes area. Used to be pretty much all Under Armor and Nike but now headed more towards the Affliction look (really anything from Buckle store).
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Its not about winning her back it is about making yourself a better person or to quote the veterans making yourself only a fool would want to leave.
I'm starting to figure this out. For a while there I was doing the things I thought she would like better but I wasn't really liking some of them. Lately I'm becoming the person I want to be and in doing that I'm starting to understand some of her complaints about me.
Originally Posted By: tori2012
I would say that you should focus on what is positive about your W and celebrate it. The point is that she feels good about herself when she's around you.
I've definitely been giving her more strategic comments over the last month or so to boost her self esteem and let her know how I feel about the positives. One of the things she said in past arguments was that I beat her down for years which I now (sadly) can understand why she felt that way. If she did 9 good things in a day and didn't get one thing done it was that one thing I would comment on. Thankfully now I don't even mention the one thing and only talk about the good. Just today I told her how proud of her I was when she texted me saying a website wanted to write about her in their blog for getting control of her illness; this blog is on her professional associations main page. I genuinely do feel really happy for her, in past I may have been jealous or had some other stupid emotion. I am proud of the person I'm becoming .
I'm not really sure how she feels around me but what occurred to me on the drive home was she hasn't turned down a single request for things to do together and has been up front (when we're calm) that she wants us in same house until it sells. This doesn't seem normal to me for someone that wants out as badly as she's said she does. She's also done absolutely nothing to get house ready to sell. I wrote it off as mind reading because I really have no idea what's going on with her. I guess I'll just keep on keeping on and try to detach a little more and see what happens.
What kind of Engineer are you? If you want to live in Michigan (it was a balmy 2 deg this morning when I left for work so I can't see why you wouldn't) my company just got 3 new programs awarded and we're hiring 25-30 new people. I might have a little pull if interested .
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
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