Unpacking my bags

[needgrace]

thanks tori and val for helping me think about boundaries.

i went to get a mammogram today and who was there, yes W.... and it is not like we live in a small town or anything, we are in a city with 400,000 people.

i recognized the curve of her back sitting in a chair in admission, that is how well i know her. i found out she was there getting a CAT scan but i was not sure why.. so i waited for her afterwards. i kept changing my mind about waiting and was about to leave when she came out.

i asked her about the CAT scan and she said that the Md is concerned about continuing blood and bacteria in her urine so he/she ordered the CT scan.

she said that we would talk soon and then saw my face and said "probably not" and i blurted out "probably never." i am not sure why i said it, i was not angry at the moment, it felt more like the reality of our situation. i could tell she was angered by my statement. she was walking to her car then and i asked her if she would update me on the scan and she said she would.

now i feel badly for what i said... any thoughts on if i should explain or apologize?