W will do what she wants. Time for ME and D3 !!

[SM34]

OK so as far as what I can do at this point.

I think you are all right in that I need to work up the strength to be able to shift the power to my side. If I force it, as AnotherStander said, it will come across as resentful and probably fake. She would probably call my bluff at this point.

My gut tells me she needs to stay in our house, for now. Also GH31 who has been with me from the start of my sitch, also said that I am not ready to move to the next phase and that will come as a naturally progression when you cannot take this anymore. Similar to what AS said.

At home she is with me and can see my 180s. I need to get to where I am ready and ok with moving on without her, and as you all said at that point she will realize that on her own.

So, my plan from now on is to GAL and GAL some more, and ignore what she does. You are all right in that it is so hard to get going with that!

25yearmlc, you said that since I only had one friend I must never have had good self esteem. Without getting into a long convo, basically I cam to USA as an international student attending college. All of my friends, probaly 100 or so people, were international students. Over the years as they graduated they all moved home.

At that point i had met my now W and was 1.5 years into our relationship when i graduated. I got into her circle of friends and also my business and was too busy and frankly didn't care to have many friends anyway.

So all left, Except me and one other guy I know. I may contact him and see if we can meet up. His wife just had a baby though so not sure how flexible he is.

Yesterday when W was leaving for 1.5 hour drive to OM, she said do you have $10 I can take with me in case I need something? I gave her the $5 I had in my pocket =)

I had told her last time that I she can't be using our marital money for those trips and that our money is only for groceries and things D3 needs.

So it seems it got through a little and was not met with too much anger. I told her there is gas in the car, and really I shouldn't be paying for that either. She said OM told her he would give her money when she goes this time.

So I will slowly start to stand up for myself in those situations, while at the same time upping my GAL. That way it is authentic and looks like I am moving on.

When she feels the loss of power, perhaps she will rethink this whole situation.

She is looking for a job, but not in OM's city! She is looking here where we live. So not sure what she is thinking, or if she is thinking at all. We all know WAW's dont seem to have too much clarity.

So GAL GAL GAL. I am going to start working out. that is my number one GAL right now. I want to get rid of a little gut i have going on, and grow my arms out like they were when we met.

I'm going to look into habitat for humanity. I have always wanted to help those less fortunate. Especially during the holidays because all my family live out of state. But we always end up at W family. So now is the time.

I still have faith my wife will change her mind though think it will take time. I need to change as you all said, and I need to become the husband only a fool would leave.

Fix my business and make it more profitable (by focusing instead of obsessing about my sitch which has made business worse).

Work out and start to have more energy, feel better, look better.

Need to sign up for either a volunteer something or perhaps a class in something. i kind of liked the pottery idea that 25 mlc did!! =)

Stay tuned. And please let me know if you think I am on track here!