The quicker you focus on you and take the focus off W the better. For some reason it took me over 1 year to really listen to Bond and 25. I thought my M was GONE. Same as you man. Lawyers. Lawyers leaving messages on home voice. W writing checks to L with joint checking. Rings off. You name it. Ignore and focus on you. Attend EE.org or other workshops. Its not about winning her back it is about making youself a better person or to quote the veterans making yourself only a fool would want to leave.
How is your health. Goto the gym and get fn shredded. Get new clothes. You say you're an Engineer. Are you a dorky Engineer? Try to change it. Don't take offense. I'm a SAN engineer and just know the territory.
Go out. Be mysterious. Don't be rude to wife but just act as if you moving on. Enjoy the kids. GAl with the kids. take the kids somewhere your W would never do.
I know you can't go DARK. Cuz we have similar situations. 2 kids. 4 and 7. but take them. Go away for weekend to hotel with heated pool. Anything etc.
