Well wife had been in another room for the past week. Returned the past 2 nights to our room. Long story short, we ML last night. Contact initiated by her. Afterwards however she cried. Conversation as follows: Me: what's wrong W: nothing Me: do you regret doing that W: no Me: then what is wrong W: I don't know Me: do you want to talk about it W: no End on conversation. She falls asleep up against me. She has not been as distant today as in the past following ML. Not sure what all of this means. I have said it a hundred times and will probably say it one hundred more but I am so confused. I will say that I am definitely more emotional since last night. That really hurts the detaching progress. But I have not pushed or asked anything today. Not being clingy.
Grizz, she's no doubt still going through a lot of emotional turmoil and constantly wondering if she's doing the right thing or not. As a recent participant in RetroV I would highly encourage you to check into it, I think it could really break some barriers down between you and your wife. One of the comments I have after having been through RetroV is that in your above convo, instead of asking her "what's wrong" you might try asking her "tell me what you're feeling right now". "What's wrong" is a question that implies something is wrong with her and puts her on the defensive, thus the "nothing" response, because if she answers you otherwise then it implies that there IS something wrong with her. But if you ask her what she's feeling, she may be more inclined to open up to you about her feeling and emotions. And if she does, remember not to reason/ explain/ justify/ agree or disagree. Just validate. "It sounds like you're feeling "------", I can see why you feel that way."
