xSO called last night. We talked for about an hour. Mainly about family, work and the weather. He is working on a project and I was encouraging and for the most part, thought I did pretty well encouraging and validating. He thanked me again for "one of the funniest Christmas cards ever", I joked that I liked his too, oh wait I did not get one. He called himself an a$$ but I just laughed and said my nose was not out of joint (which was true, actually) BUT...
The conversation was really so benign at first, I was sooooo unprepared to hear: an apology.
I do not even remember the exact words, but he said something about being sorry. I asked what for? (Really never thought he was referring to me) and he said, "I am sorry because I know I caused you a lot of pain."
I replied, "You did" Silence. Then I said, "I am sorry, I really do not know what to say to that." He said he was the one who was sorry and changed the subject.
Did I mention how unprepared for that I was? And I really, really think that I blew something here! I thought about calling back later and saying thank you for your apology and acknowledging it. But I did not know if it would be too late.
ARGH! Sometimes I wish I had the script ahead of time then I would always know what to say! I would really like to hear better ways of handling this if (big IF) it ever comes up again. Even if this is guilt talking, I still would have liked to have done better - been "safer" or more understanding. I managed to choke back angry words but I do wish I handled it better.
Now that we appear to be in more regular contact, I better start brushing up on the communication skills. Sometimes no contact is easier, I think!
After that exchange, he said that he be thinking of that all night.
We went on to talk of other things - no mention of OW at all.
Would very much appreciate some input here. Thanks!
