My goal is to change the dynamic of fights (i.e. not have them). If things start heading that direction my goal is to just walk away. First test will likely be later this week, W has appointment w/ her L on Wednesday.
May I suggest you not even think this way. Google "Law of attractions". While it is very good for you to try the dynamics of a fight but to to predict a fight is not healthy. She is going to a L. Let her. I wouldn't bring anything up at all. If she does just stand your ground. Keep it short. Don't let her draw you in.
I consistantly told my W that I did not support divorce and she had the free will to do what she wanted. Then I SHUT THE F*CK up and walked away.
"I do not support divorce or this is not the path I want to take with our family" say it calm manner and walk away. I am glad you decided not to move out. YOU are in control of how the interactions at home are. I can tell you this. Go home. Enjoy the kids. When the kids are in bed I suggest GAL. If you can't go out. Read, work out in basement, learn a hobby (guitar anything)
Make sure you are calm. If you are staying and she wants you out you let her know you are staying. it's your home etc..that you pay home and it is your home too.
I don't know your sitch but what are the complaints. 180 them.
My W absolutely could not stand me but that did not stop me from "doing laundry,doing dishes, folding laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning house. etc... " my W's love language is acts of service and quality time. Obviously couldn't give her quality time but continued to do acts of service. Read the book "5 love languages" by Gary Chapman.
Good luck spartan. But I wouldn't react to any negative or any POSITIVE she does. It will drive you bat sh*t crazy. One day she at L's office next day you're out as a family. Focus on what you can control, which is you. It is tough but do it
