Hmmm, hindsight is 20/20. It would have depended where we were in the marriage, I think. For the past five years, even H said the sex was terrible. There was no effort etc., on either part. I think if I saw the trip as a bribe (ie, let's have sex in this here exotic locale) then I do not know if there would have been enthusiastic sex. If we were at the bad place we had been in for the previous five years, then no. We went on a cruise and didn't have sex at all. So I can probably say that the very cool trip would not have done it either. The connection was not there. I think if the trip had happened after H started filling LL needs and stated in no uncertain terms that sex was off table until I wanted to initiate, BOra Bora would have been mighty interesting. But to go on the trip with everything else unresolved? No go.
Sounds selfish and awful and wow, I really don't like the person I was...but let me tell you, this mistake? Of tying sexuality to emotional neediness? Of not expressing what I am missing and what I need? To use sex as a means of control? This never happens again.
