Soul.Searching my way back.

[Soul.Searching]

Actually, I have to add something else. Today rocked!! We had a ball and i didn't have to worry about H!! Usually he won't go on rides because he doesn't like them. He would usually be rushing us about and there's no way we would have gotten to stay the whole day. He would have found some reason to leave early.

Even with me knowing H was probably calling and calling my phone ( Which was in a locker most of the time there.) I still had a way more relaxing day, then I usually would. I got to go on all the rides with my kids, without feeling guilty because H was bored. I felt no rush to get back to my phone to answer his calls.

I don't feel guilty for saying no to H's request.
I think that's something I need to work on, especially in any fucture R. I don't need to feel guilt, if someone is not having a good time. I don't need to feel guilt, if I say no occasionally.

I'm actually starting to very slowly, see the positive side of being single.
I've been wanting to take my kids to that water park for about two years but something always came up with H, who would have been upset, pissed if we went without him.
I've taken my kids to hire DVD from the video shop, something H never wanted them to do because it's a waste of money, yeah, yeah! Why did I let him have so much control?
I'm a single Mum and I'm actually starting to see the good/ great side of that.