House for sale. So Sad. Family Breaking Up (pt 2)

[mamabird]

Floyd -
I totally get where you are. Remember the hot guy who hit on me at that Xmas party? Huge ego boost! It actually gave me a lot of hope that I was still attractive and would be just fine if my M did end, and I credit that interaction for giving me the courage to detach to the point where I felt it would be ok if H left. So, don't discount the presence of this woman from that standpoint.

I'm afraid I'll have to agree with the prevailing wisdom: tread with caution. I know that I wanted to pursue "hot guy" soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly but didn't because my M was still hanging by a thread. It would not have been fair to H or to Hot Guy, even though I was lonely and missing the company of men and all of that.

I suppose that if you made things very clear to this woman - here's where you are in the M, you are not ready for a R, whatever - it might be ok but think about whether your W would flip out if you started dating. I personally think your W is not 100% done. I don't get her flip flopping but from what you say, I just don't think she's done. Dating could help that or hurt that, but probably would push her further away.

My internal rule was that I was going to wait until we were officially S to date. Perhaps you should think about that a little - at what point do you feel comfortable dating?