Next Step, Moving On

[mamabird]

Resentment and anger are what ruined my M in the first place. Those little mean spirited jabs go a very long way to ruin any good will in your M. You need to stop that ASAP if you ever want a chance to R.

My H did the same. Even though they may seem like small things, over time they accumulate and these are not loving actions, even if you apologize. When he did that it made me feel like he did not love me and so I took actions as if he did not love me. The negatives have far more weight than the positives, so even if you also do nice things, she's left with a negative valence so to speak. Was this a pattern in your M before BD?

I wonder, if you could get the courage to say to your wife that you realize how hurtful those little jabs are and that you will never do it again, how far could that take you?