Tad, I'm glad you called her. I thought she needed the information for something medical. Now, you know and can put that question to bed. Well, she can't blame her coughing on you now, can she? Sounds like she's not having the best of times w/the coughing. Hopefully the medical community can offer up some advice and meds to help her.
I think that if you can keep an open mind, eventually the two of you will be able to carry on conversations w/out fighting, yelling or arguing.
All I ask is that you just be yourself and keep your expectations at zero. Does it ever end? If you mean her contacting you...most likely not, especially when you have children.
I use to ask that question quite a bit and my answer was always not until he's six feet under. They do tend to contact you when they need something, especially if it's something from their past that they either can't remember or something you have in your possession. You will need to change the way you look at her and start thinking of her as just the mother of your children and yes, a neighbor who pops in perodically. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but in all honesty, she still relies on you for things and I don't see that changing after she gets married, but you will need to cut those ties once the marriage is a sealed deal because she will no longer be your problem and I don't think the om would appreciate her running to you every time she needs something.
Tad, it's a long, difficult road that we travel, but we all learn how to navigate it and learn from the bumps and potholes that we fall into. You still have a ways to go and I suspect that your xw is going to be contacting you more frequently until the day of the wedding, if it should even taken place.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
