A friend of mine pointed me to your thread saying you'd found mime. I haven't posted here in awhile. Part of my healing and detaching meant being away from people in those early stages of denial and willing to do anything to get you back to status quo.

I thought a lot about what I was going to say to you and it all comes down to what people have already said to you....there is no formula to make her wake up or come back to you. There is no short fix and to be honest I think if she did dump him and you'd still be hurting. What she has,done and is doing to you is causing you pain and you will have to heal from that. Because right now all you're doing is trying to keep whatever you can from her and bend over backwards and a part of you won't he okay with that. We teach people how to treat us...what are you showing her and the universe you are willing to accept?

I was in a sexless marriage and that hurts a lot and takes a lot of rebuilding in self esteem. My ex didn't change he found another woman to pick.out his clothes etc. And I look back.and have to say with a great deal of brutal honesty that part of my wanting to work.it out was ego, abandonment and rejection issues and control. And I thank my lucky stars he never came back.

He was quite happy to tell me I looked nice when I was on my way out to meet guys and I sucked it up and helped him arrange his apartment when he moved out. I didn't respect him when he was willing to live with me and sleep on the sofa,while I did what I like. Of course she isn't looking for a job you pay the bills and babysit and all she has to do is,not mention his name. In fact you've said that if/when it doesn't work out you'll be there. That's not the real world and if you were my brother I'd be shaking you and say you deserve better.

We can't tell you that she will wake up or come back.or of she does it will work out. But a year from now you will still be you and your daughter will still be your daughter. DB changed my life because a year later my relationship with myself and my son became the focus. if you look.at my threads I have list of thongs my therapist gave me about self esteem and zig has some great stuff on goal setting...instead of focusing on what will show her this or that and what she will notice why not make a goal of something you want to do? For me going somewhere alone was huge, then it was trips away with my son, then I lost over 50 pounds and ran a 10 mile race. She is concentrating on her happiness and you are concentrating on her happiness so who.is looking out for you?

Ps the clothing thing? Some department stores have personal shoppers that you don't have to pay. They are just hoping you buy. usr be honest and say its been awhile and you need a feel for what looks good on your frame then you can hit up tj max