I'm not quite sure what I have on my hands here - I have read the book and it seems to me my Walkaway Wife could also be in the midst of a midlife crisis...
Take a look at the MLC forum for more info to help you figure out if it's that, but based on your OP it sounds more like WAW. The DB'ing approach is mostly the same either way, but it can take the spouse much, much longer to emerge from MLC.
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Just after her 39th Birthday in December my Wife told me our marriage was over (we have been married 9 years and have a 8 year old Son together). She said she no longer loved me and couldn't be with me...
First, this is pretty typical WAS talk here, so try not to be too upset over it. Second, it's time for you to change. Read DR over and over again. Take stock of the things you've done wrong in the M. Do 180's on those things. Give your W time and space. Expect this to take many months at a minimum. Don't look for immediate changes, you probably won't see positive signs for months and even then they'll be small ones.
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I managed to pull her back a little and she agreed to marriage counselling - she only came to two sessions and then decided to think about things whilst staying around the corner at her Mums...
Don't push MC on her again. I have yet to hear a positive story of MC when one spouse has a foot out the door. Usually it hurts things because they perceive it as pressure.
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Saturday she told me that "her mind has never been clearer and we were over" she packed a bag and left
Again, this is typical WAS talk. She may sound 100% sure, but almost always the WAS is confused and in turmoil internally. This statement does not mean it's over.
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She told me today that "she was never coming back so I had to accept that and move on".
There was a WAW posting here a while back and she told her H this over and over again. After around 6 months he did move on. Then the WAW's fog suddenly lifted and she wanted her H back, but she found out he was dating OW by then. At that point she became the LBS. The only point I'm making is don't believe anything she says and only half of what she does (that's one of the DB 180 tips).
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Is it really all over now?
No, not at all.
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Please help.
That's why we're here Read DR and get started on the recommendations right away. It's no guarantee it'll bring your W back, but there are plenty of success stories to keep you motivated, some in the book and others on these forums. Good luck!
Read DR and get started on the recommendations right away. It's no guarantee it'll bring your W back, but there are plenty of success stories to keep you motivated, some in the book and others on these forums. Good luck!