first time - need help still

[albamarie]

The lite isn't out it will always be on but it's for reconciliation and the pouring of his heart for the sake of sharing these kids, grand kids, and closure. It's not for me as his wife! He could never live up to my needs, nor is he the graveling type, at all.

I love having company...h hated it as well unless it was friends of kids, kids are all he's ever been able to relate to. Now I have no friends...so new ones will only know me as separated.

My life is going to move forward pretty fast with these kids as they are getting older, and bringing new people into my life. I already had to have dinner with two of the gf's families, so I have to represent my family as stable. My d19 is about to accept a new bf very soon and he has a very active family already talking about inviting her to the Keys.

So I am mother, representing my family with a father in the background known as the broken one who nobody will meet but figures has to be a good person based on the five of us being such a good group.

He has no clue what he's giving up, miss out on, the whole nine yards worth of word to express what he's missing. But, I can't care and have to learn to be the head of this wonderful family. At least they're adults and can be relied upon, somewhat!

Your sitch is different but the end is the same, you, your friends ,your dreams, he's gone, you have to move forward because your not going to die for him.

I'm having the picnic in front of my castle with my back to it not caring that h may be looking out the window wondering....want some wine anyone?