first time - need help still

[albamarie]

Maybe this is what true detachment is....maybe I need to hit bottom before I can be brought back up, that's fine, I will except that. But, now wouldn't you think it's a very crucial point of my life were the " who" helps me pick up, joins me in my new adventure, becomes the person I begin to admire.

I know I know it is ultimately me picking myself up, but as I do there will be new people, new places, new interest, new something that h won't be a part of if, when I begin this new adventure he is nowhere in my life. He will be a stranger....!

Success stories are those when the S connects with the lbs and together they begin a new journey. That's not going to happen here! So, when I have my small steps turn into bigger steps toward a new life I will be on my own and hope that I meet lots of new people who will become important.

If I have come just this little tiny bit of where I am now without h can you imagine how I will feel about him as I move forward. So, ride it out is only because I can run, can't make him leave, can't tie him up with duck tape to a tree for target practice.