Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[mamabird]

Ruby, I am glad you're back - at least to comment on our stuff!

Sometimes, when we go out as a family, we take 2 cars so we avoid the stay/go conundrum. In this case, we were watching the football playoffs. We'd been there all day, but that was the expectation. H decided that he wanted to leave after the third quarter of the 2nd game. He was giving weird excuses. The real reason we needed to leave was that the tension was rising between our friends - the wife had been gone all day and she came home and started flipping out because of the mess and her kids had eaten crap all day. But as that was happening, I didn't recognize it right away and his vague reasons for leaving weren't sitting with me. H takes it personally when I don't agree with him, no matter what the issue. It's a fine line - we want our spouses to be happy but we don't want to do that at the expense of what we want - at least not all the time.

The picture hanging in my son's room - well, he did a photo shoot for a photographer that is a friend of mine and she had him all dressed up with fake tattoos like a punk rocker. It's a bit of a severe photo. Yes, it was all in fun, and we know that, but S does have some aggression problems at school, so his point was to have that hanging in his room might be sending the wrong message to him and also to friends who come over. He has a good point, I relented. I need to have these issues spelled out though and that seems to be a problem for H.

This morning, I tried to be affectionate with him and he was just lying there like a dead fish. This is along the lines of what used to happen, which I would take personally and interpret as his lack of interest in me. I asked him if everything was ok and he said he wasn't feeling well. I asked him to try to tell me these things upfront as I could easily misinterpret.

As it turns out, he had a bit of acid reflux in the middle of the night from all the junk he ate yesterday watching football. I said nothing to him as he shoveled it in.

I am trying to treat him like a "boyfriend" but he has been pretty withdrawn and we have to change that dynamic... I will say that DBing is a little easier when we have the ability to talk to our spouses about our feelings under the assumption that they are invested in improving the M. Right now, he's not the BF that I want...