That is the irrational me talking. The rational me wants to work on me, get an interesting life before I try to enter another relationship (with wife or another lady).
Me, too! I've been reading posts on here for over a year now and I see so many people come and go, many people drift away when it gets tough. You would think the tough part is when S left but for most people the tough part is looking in the mirror, seeing what needs to be fixed and fixing it.
For some it seems easier to not work on themselves, get into a new R which validates them to themselves (see, I'm not so bad) and then be surprised when that R follows the same trajectory.
I want to get to the place where I want a R, but don't need one. A place where my life is good, I do things I want, enjoy my work, volunteer with things that are important to me, travel, go to movies, music events, plays.
As I wrote that, I realized I'm almost there. I don't really want a R with H right now, at least not the way he is at this time. I know that it would be difficult because he's content to do very little in the way of activities. I'm not. So would I want to give up the life I have now to go back to that? Do I want to be coaxing him to do things? Do I want to be disappointed that he doesn't take date night seriously? Do I want to go back to conflict avoidance.
No.
OK subguy, looks like I've used your thread to journal. Thanks.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
