i see what you're saying. i would truly not worry one darn bit what any of those people think of you. why would you care if you don't know them and they're not a part of your life? people who know you and care for you will feel your pain- see your own light - and know who is the transgressor.
Quote:
People who know both of us are finding it hard to be around him anymore. They remember how we used to be together. They remember how he openly adored me. Now they can't bare to see him treat me the way he does. They have seen a change in him. That he is weighted down. He looks terrible. His light has gone out.
that is so sad - it says something maybe about his own "heart" that he can't hide his confusion & torment.
same here. well, people who know me well. he doesn't have many friends - they've always been kept well away from his day to day life- (computer is PERFECT for him- everyone arms distance and compartmentalized to write or read when HE feels like it). anyway-
my friends all (i'd guess) dislike him intensly. they see the pain - they are outraged - the ones that knew him well too, are like yours - amazed and stunned.
mind you tho- my h still acts like normal alot of the time- no one can notice anything on their own . he's a big actor . again, wonder why he bothers. maybe it bothers him sooooo little (personally) to be making me miserable - he finds it easy to act normal. he is alot nicer to me last year or so than for several years before that (when i didn't know and he was (is) cheating. he was rotten to live with.
he wants to be a nice guy to the world. - he wants his family to think he's a nice guy- (they do know, btw that he cheats) - MAYBE what anyone in the world thinks of them and us doesn't matter - it's what we KNOW bout ourselves and then that is the "weight". guilt... it's a killer.
so- your h tells people he's a rat - so they can comfort him. God - the sick variations kills me- how the heck did men get so nuts? i'd say most DO NOT have any kind of good reasons for what they do- but this is my sticking point. i always come back to thinking it's free will and they are self-centered rats pandering to their own need for excitement- adventure- stroking- that no amount of love or trust or devotion is ENOUgh - they are GREEDY and want to not miss anything out there that might be worth having - also.
sorry- maybe someday i'll get over that one. not sure.
they're stuck in the grass is always greener mode- we pay the price
