i'm sooo sorry for the debacle and i'm soo sorry for the way you feel. i wonder sometimes what the heck i feel. if i were totally without concerns on any othr front- do i even like this man? sometimes(like tonite) i don't want to talk to him- i don't care if i see him- i wish i were detached and gone.
i was stopping by to say something i was thinking about - while cleaning up a bit just now. that you must feel very good and "free" to be able to just say rite out to him - so GO - move out- just do it, JUST DO IT.
WHETHER or not he leaves is another matter- but for once i'd like to just say it. leave me alone- if she's so wonderful go have that life and leave me out of it(forever).
i don't - whattasurprise.
do you feel so bad to say it and feel it that you want to hear someone else echo it? i can't say if i do or don't. i certainly don't feel the devotion and attachment i have for the bulk of my life. it's different- i'm not sure if i can get something back for him. his callous treatment of my heart & feelings just makes me dull & detached.
is that what you feel- ?
maybe it's a good thing. if he is meant to keepy0u and be in your life- you've said before - he'll have to woo you and win you. i feel that way too-
it is a giant shame what these schmos have done to perfectly good women like us. they are nuts to think there is "more" out there. oh well- insanity- what can one do? it's scary it's so unreasoning...
i hope you're not too blue. i don't know what to make of him coming home- still apparently seeing you as his "rock" still seeing thelight in your little lighthouse. i don't honestly know. can anyone honestly know what is in his head & heart?
i don't think so. if you don't wait for him- no one could ever blame you. i get to a point where i want to run away screaming- i wonder if i drag my feet to have justification to not do it- maybe i want to feel something or believe i might again- or he might.
i don't even know what is in my head & heart. feelings only- as mwd says- just feelings. they come and they go - don't trust them or go with them only when making a decision. they may be different tomorrow.
i hope you find some peace and closure about this. it's your heart and your right to say what's in it. nobody has justification for any opinion - imho.
take care - try not to brood on it. i hope your'e doing ok. xxoo ((( )))
