I've been busy. Class started on Monday and I have a lot to get done before the semester is up in May. Tons of readings, interviews to complete, and papers to write.
I did take a break last night and went to a happy hour with a group of friends. I had a great time and stayed out past 10pm.
I think the weather is supposed to be good this weekend, so skydiving is still on. I'm trying not to think about it too much, as I'm going to freak myself out. I also registered for another swimming class that should start next week.
I honestly haven't had that much time to think about my sitch with H. It's getting closer to February so we'll see if he follows through with paying off his debts and filing for D.
If he files, I just have to accept that and try not to react and get upset. I have school to concentrate on and don't have time to fall apart.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Sounds like you are doing well and school is a great focus point now that your term has started.
Wish you luck with your Sky dive once you've touched down I guarantee you will want to go straight back up and do it again! Rather you than me thats for sure!
M - 37 W - 35 T - 11 M - 5.5 SD13 D10 S4 ILYBINILWY 15 Oct '12 Moved out 7 Dec 12 At present - Being the best dad i can be.
I survived! Today was skydiving and I didn't chicken out. The plane ride was scary because it was the smallest plane I've ever been on, but I had so much fun.
And I was too busy preparing for the jump to even think about H or my sitch for most of the day. It was great.
Now I have a ton of readings to do for school tomorrow, but so far it's been a great weekend.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
You're right, LJC. I just saw your post, but I'm definitely ready to go again. Thanks for reading my longwinded posts too!
The only problem with my classes is that there is a ton of reading and I really have to concentrate. The history of management styles (topic 1) isn't really keeping my attention very well. Hopefully it'll get a little more interesting as the semester continues.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Way to go on the skydiving SBR! It must have been an amazing experience!
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
It was so fun! I was scared to get out of the plane, but once I stepped out and let go, I had a great time. Once I was falling, I just had to accept that there was no going back, so I might as well enjoy it.
I'd always said that I'd go skydiving before I'd ever bungee jump, but I honestly think that I would have found excuses not to-no time, no money, no one to go with, terrified of heights, etc. if it hadn't been for BD.
At this point I just want to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Ruby, I realized that as I was typing it! Once I was in the air, we were aiming for the green roofed building, but the wind determined how we got there. We were just along for the ride.
So I'm more confident that I'll get where I need to go, but how I get there and how bumpy it'll be isn't up to me.
Tomorrow is my 5 year wedding anniversary, but I'm feeling pretty good right now. It may hit me tomorrow, but I think I'll be ok.
I also finally cancelled the two AMEX cards that H was a secondary card holder on. He'll have to figure out how to pay for his business expenses with his own credit.
I'm glad that the only thing I'll have to ask him about each month is the car insurance, at least until he gets his own. One less thing to nag him about.
And if he decides to file in February, I'll be okay with that. I think I've done the best I can and I'm still working on myself, so I'm only going to get better.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
SBR - How are you going to deal with your Anniversary? Will you send a card or a simple text acknowledging the date? I know when this comes up as a LBS, it is tricky to deal with.
Chin up girl sounds like your doing great!
M - 37 W - 35 T - 11 M - 5.5 SD13 D10 S4 ILYBINILWY 15 Oct '12 Moved out 7 Dec 12 At present - Being the best dad i can be.
When I spoke with him about a week and a half ago, he mentioned again that he always thinks that our anniversary is on the 23rd instead. I told him that it was definitely on the 22nd.
If it weren't for fb or google calendar, he probably would have missed it the other years. Now he doesn't have those reminders and he probably wouldn't acknowledge it anyway.
H doesn't really think we're married anymore, not sure why but I'm blaming it on MLC. I want to show him that I can move on too, so I'm not going to acknowledge it. Last year we had dinner and I got him a card, but I'm not even going to mention it.
Wouldn't want to make OW mad and jealous! At least not any more jealous than she already is!
I did put on my fb status the quote-
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” -Maya Angelou and had a pic that said no regrets, just love.
So I'm acknowledging to myself the decision that I made five years ago, but I don't think anyone knows what it's about.
I think I am doing pretty well. I'd love for him to wake up and decide to commit to our M, but I don't really have the expectation that it'll happen.
So right now I'm just waiting until February to see if he follows through to pay his debts and file. I still don't want to file, but if he wants to be with OW or anyone else, then he needs to get a D so I can move on too.
I'd like the opportunity to explore a relationship if it came up. Right now I don't qualify for financial aid because of his income and I can't date because I'm married, yet I don't get any of the benefits of being a wife.
I do love him, but I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with this. I'm so busy with school that I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but I really do miss having a partner.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
