Mike, I'm very happy that you came back to post an update. Congratulations on your new marriage. Keep up the good work and always make her feel special and she should do the same for you.
Life has a funny way of working things out...you and the xw's new husband can get along. This makes a world of difference for your children.
Again, congratulations!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.