It's good to be here

[Mileus]

Did you wear a condom? Because you get an STD or worse and she could get pregnant. Take responsibility for your life, if you aren't currently.

First get the book and read it. It's hard to do DB is you haven't read either book.

You've had a lot going on in your lives, are either of you in counseling?

No, I didn't. Her tubes are tied so she can't get pregnant, but I should have worn one. And I have been reading the book. I've read ch 1-6 (to Step 5) and CH 10 (infidelity). It helps, but this is all so new.

I've tried to get her into counseling, but she hates it. She has been depressed, badly, since her mom's suicide a few years ago. We drifted apart because I stopped trying. She always said no to going places and never seemed interested in nice gestures. And, I guess I gave up a bit. She has been unhappy with all aspects of her life for awhile. I wish I had read the chapter on living with a depressed spouse before all this happened.

I would 180 on being absent, but I know I'm supposed to detach. I would definitely 180 if we get back together, but the 6+ month timeline is terrifying.

I have set some goals.
* I want her to believe she can be happy at home.
* I want her to come back (leave him).
* I want to be able to trust her.
Personal goals.
* Workout Daily (at least 30 minutes)
* Eat healthy
* Spend more time with kids (at least 1 family night a week)
So far, these have been going very well.