H called me today to chat for a few minutes. He talked about his day at work and how a mutual friend is coming along with his new job. H also gave me an update on the friend's wife health.
I told him that my family might be coming into our side of the state to spend Christmas Day with my oldest sister (she lives 45 minutes South of us) and her family. My niece is going to be 1 on the 27th and so they thought it would be nice to have everyone over for a Christmas / Birthday party. H told me to do what I need to do but we'd discuss it later on. I told him that I understood and just wanted to let him know because my family has been asking about him. (They haven't really seen him too much for a while because he doesn't like to travel the 2hrs to see them.)
I wish I could remember exactly what H said next, but he made a reference to getting his act together. So, I'm going to try my best not to read into it. But it almost sounds like he's reconsidering the R. Again, I'm not going to try not to show excitement or get my hopes up. He may just mean that he's actually going to go with me to visit them and finally meet my niece.
We'll see.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
H asked about my company's "Adult" holiday party. "Adult" meaning alcohol is involved and nothing kinky. He wanted to know if I still needed him to go. I told him that although I don't need him to go I want him to go. He agreed.
As I mentioned above, H wants to talk about Christmas. In the past, we would both travel the 2 hours to get to my parents house for some of the holidays. In the past few years, he didn't want to go and I didn't force him because I knew that he didn't like the drive. Besides, if he went to visit my family during other holidays/events, it was okay with me. Eventually, he didn't want to visit at all.
It's been confirmed that my sister is going to have Christmas at her house. So, we'll see what happens when we talk about Christmas.
By the way, Christmas morning is going to be here at home with his family (as a reminder, we all live in the same house) so we won't be completely missing the holiday with his side.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
H told me that he wanted to go with me to my sister's place for Christmas.
H also told me that he is going to see OW tomorrow to work on the electric in her home. He asked me if I was upset and I told him that I wasn't. I was just used to him not telling me or telling me after the fact.
He actually told me that he wanted to let me know. I told him that I appreciated it.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
Christmas went well. H apologized for not getting me anything bc he's been too busy. I know "poor excuse" but I know that he's been putting in A LOT of hours at work. (We still have a joint account).
WE did travel 45 min to see my family at my sisters place. H had a good time visiting and finally met my niece. I'm so happy the way the day turned out.
On to New Years: H is going to be having a get together at his buddy's place. Don't know whose invited and I'm not pressing it either. He did tell me that his resolution is to cut down on his drinking because he's tired of waking up as if he hasn't slept. I reminded him that I'll support his decision.
We're still talking more and more. Everything "appears" to be on the up-swing but I'm not getting my hopes too high.
I'm not sure what the future holds in 2013 but I hope things go well for my sitch and all of yours.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
Been having some good encounters with my H. We're definitely talking a lot more when he's home and it's very enjoyable. We're talking about health, work and family. Over the past few months, H would say "don't worry about me" or "I'm fine." Now a days, he is open to my asking how he's doing and if he needs me to go to the store and pick something up for him (while I'm out anyway, no special trips).
Today, he admitted that his burning the candle at both ends has finally taken a toll on his health. He's pretty much picked up the flu. I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my meds and offered to get his cough drops. He told me that he actually picked up 2 bags (1 for him and 1 for me) and was going to bring it home to me tomorrow.
Yesterday, he was home and told us that he'd be home next on Saturday. I asked him about tomorrow night (Friday). He asked why and I reminded him about my company's "Adult" party. H said "oh yea, I'll see everyone Friday." I'm so surprised and happy because he is still planning on going with me to the party.
Some additional small steps forward. I'll take it.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of activity on the home and work side of things.
My H did come to the holiday party with me. We both weren't feeling too good but we at least lasted an hour there before heading back. It's a good thing that we didn't stay any longer because I ended up getting physically sick. H came in and checked to see how I was doing. He actually sounded concerned.
Last week, H stated that he wanted to go out to dinner on Friday. We went to a place that we used to always visit because of the great food and house beers. There was A LOT of animosity between us the last time that we were there. This time was MUCH better. We had good conversation and he even offered me some of his clam chowder (fed it to me, too).
The next day or so, we were texting about a purchasing a handgun for me. He reminded me that there was one at home for me. I had mentioned that I was looking at one for "the future". He then messaged something that completely threw me off. He mentioned that he loved me 100% and that no matter what he was still my husband.
H tried to call an hr or so later and I missed it. He left a msg and stated that I didn't have to call back. I send him a text back stating the phone didn't ring and I'd chat with him later. He actually called back and said that he's had a lot of time to think about everything and he wants to see if we can make it work. He mentioned that he hoped it wasn't too late to try and asked for my feelings. Even though I was "omg, omg, omg" in my head, I calmly said "I'd like that."
So, it seems that he wants to fix our M and R. He's been talking more about our future together, getting our own place, etc. I'm happy that he's made this choice but I'm still on guard around him.
I've made a BIG step with my GAL. A while back, I had mentioned that I had gone on an audition that went rather well. This past Wednesday night, I went on another audition for an international show for models and talent that is happening in NYC in July. I mostly went for the experience and to see what would happen. I actually received an invitation and call back to speak with the scout about attending the show. He felt that I am a really good actress and that I would do well in the commercial advertising business. I'm elated and shocked at the same time. I am fully aware that it may amount to nothing but I'm still excited that a scout in the business thinks I have what it takes.
Since the show is a week in NYC and H is talking about making it work. I made the decision to talk with him about the auditions and the opportunity that is presented. We had a nice, calm conversation and he gave me his blessing to look into it more and pursue this other career...as long as I'm smart about it. I agree completely and it felt so good to have an open talk with him about my new goal. It felt even better to have his support.
Now onto the next step. Trying to keep things going on the right track.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
Hey Tessa. Haven't read your sitch much, saw your thread on same page as mine and I clicked on the last page to see the updated status.
Even though I was "omg, omg, omg" in my head, I calmly said "I'd like that." -- I lol'd hard on that.. I literally pictured you with your hands on your cheeks going "OMG>.. OMG'... OMG BREATH.. breath..." haha.
Wow, I don't know the sitch but I swear, reading your last few posts are uplift. The first post I read was where you said H was telling you about his day. My first thought (this is where my training kicked in and realize what these things mean) "he's showing trust and interest, this is a good sign"
I'm so happy that things are looking up. REMEMBER! Baby steps, and take it with little expectations. Expectations is what gets us hurt even more. Hope, now that's a different thing.
I'll say a prayer for you guys (trying to regain my faith ) and I truly hope things keep going well/ in a positive direction.
Dewayne
M: 36/W: 28 T 11yrs / M 7yrs /1x 3yo D Sept: W Cheated w/ teen, BDrop. W Beast. Hated me. Oct: 18 (M license)W Asked for D Oct: 31 (Anniverary)W Paid Lawyer Nov1st: Both moved.
Thank you for the feedback and I'm glad that I could make you laugh.
I'm trying to maintain low expectations and just enjoying the increased time together.
I'll add you to my prayers. I'm finding more peace and strength since I've started going back to church. I'm sure you will too once you regain yours.
Take care, Tessa
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
) and I truly hope things keep going well/ in a positive direction. 