Detaching seems dishonest. Though he is struggling with his decision to stay or leave, you would never guess by looking at us that we were anything but happy. We have fun with the kids, we laugh and share stuff, kiss hello goodbye goodnight--go to therapy--it's not all sunshine and roses, but we are working at...something....right now he says his goal is to build trust and become honest with me. I said because I don't trust him our realtionship is built on sand. Therapist said that with his honesty we could build trust and a foundation of granite. H liked the sound of that and has said he intends to do that. Whether the foundation will be to build a strong marriage, friendship or coparenting relationship on---well that remains to be seen...but he is committed to that. If he was out the door he would have no real reason to be friendly when the kids weren't around, or agree to go out with me (to a bat mitzvah, a cocktail party, birthday parties--he could easily make excuses or simply refuse to go--instead he says, "sure that sounds fun")
not sure if 180s or detaching would work. I truly have a life. Went out to dinner last night with a girlfriend and H called twice in three hours to say "hi", wonder where I was when I'd be home...
not sure if I should maintain a happy household....or be absent...detached. Not sure where we really are---H has not committed to staying--yet he stays...
I truly am confused!! and if I ask for clarification from H--he says he is just as confused!!
