This is interesting. I think that Antonia is on to something important here that isn't quite a question of time or will or positive thinking.
We tend to be explainers and reductionists here. Ego, time, preoccupation with happy endings. These are all stories we tell ourselves. And they help, and they are partly true. However, when a marriage or relationship that was amazing at some point, ceases to exist, it leaves a turmoil of debris and pain. It is more than bruised ego, more than the passage of time to put right. Gradually we put ourselves back together, and become someone else. For some this is 'better', for others 'different'. Others say it was 'for the best' and they discoovered who they truly were. Why can we not also allow that what has happened to at least some of us was a tragedy, as surely as if our spouses fell under a bus?
I seldom post now, and my life is good, but I know that something terrible happened to my life a few years back, and although I have 'moved on' some of the fallout from the destruction will always be with me. How could it not be for anyone who truly loved and lost?
