Is it humanly possible to drop the rope?

[AntoniaB]

Cadet, Snodderly, and Kimmerz, you so get what I'm talking about. Thanks so much for your insights!!!

Cadet what you said about how you would not want to be married to your ex but you would still probably be attracted to the person she was hit the nail on the head. Not even in my wildest fantasies do I picture myself MARRIED to him again. If I could have what I wanted entirely, I think I'd be in a committed relationship with him and we might retain two homes!!! That's how used to living alone I've gotten! (The guy I had the 6 month relationship with was very "easy" to be around and we could spend 24-48 hours together, but that was my limit, and then I strongly wanted him to go home so I could have my space back!)

Of course I don't actually see me ever getting married again. I have talked about this a lot with a close friend and both of us right now are sort of so independent and fulfilled without partners that we don't even see what a partner would bring to our lives that we couldn't obtain ourselves or through friends and family.

And that brings me to Kimmerz's point about how these guys are still in major crisis mode. Even if the replay stage is possibly winding down, there is still so far for them to go. The severity of my world shattering is what FORCED me to change very quickly to survive and take care of myself. I think maybe with MLC that unless they receive a ginormous shock to the system, they are not forced to move through the changes as fast as we were. It might take him 6 years to do what I did in 3.

So even if the guy were to come waltzing back into my life, it would be a major threat to my sanity and the strides I've made. It's funny my horoscope for today said this very thing, that there is something I'm wishing for strongly because my passion overrides reason, and that what I'm wanting would not be good for me. In fact a friend just emailed me the other day and said "be careful what you wish for."

I think I'm going to take everyone's advice and just sort of rest in the knowledge that it's ok to not drop the rope till I'm emotional capable of it, but to put more energy into just being ok with where things are and in continuing to move forward alone since I'm really happy in that place. Perhaps it is my wanting to resolve things that is making me focus on him instead of on me. Thanks!!!