The evening at the nightclub didn't turn out as I had hoped. I was hoping being in a group setting would take care of my W's needs. This particular nightclub isn't my favorite place--hard, pulsing, fast-paced music. She was upset with me that I didn't dance two dances in a row at the beginning. I sat it out, because the song was so fast. She left the room in a huff. I tried to make it up to her, and she seemed to be relaxing into the evening, but then told the story, I suspect to be passive-aggressive. I had no choice, but to set limits with her.

She was angry with me afterwards, and didn't validate my concerns about sharing an inappropriate story. I'll listen for solutions. We've been ballroom dancing mostly, and she misses Salsa dancing. We need to go Salsa dancing more often. Her new job of six weeks isn't working out--a verbally abusive boss. She'll likely leave the position over the next several months.

She began taking Ritalin about a month ago, which she tells me helps her to concentrate during the day at her job. She takes it on the weekends, when she needs to concentrate, for something like cleaning. She does seem easier to live with. Ritalin lasts for 4-6 hours, so she still has her moments, when the medication isn't in her system, or she hasn't taken it.

I think to some extent the conflict is unresolvable, as it has to do with our different personalities. The best we can do is compromise where we spend our time. I think she created expectations of the evening in her mind, without telling me. When I didn't meet them, she punished me, which only made things worse, as I went into waiting for the evening to end, which I found out later infuriated her.

I think today is going to be rough. We have a private lesson at 3PM and were planning on a ballroom dance in the evening. I'll play it by ear, and see what potential there is for partnership. Maybe she could attend the lesson by herself, and we can skip the ballroom venue tonight. Thank goodness I have church and my own connection tomorrow.

CL

CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching