I've never posted to you before, but I found your last post very interesting. You said that you left your last H because it was the humane thing to do. And maybe that's correct. But what I found interesting is that you mentioned that he had some serious issues. I can't help but think that in some part of your mind you knew sure as anything that your M to your exH was over. You knew you had nothing more to invest in that. You had nothing left for him. It was an easier decision. I went through that. I was sure able to leave my last H without much hesitation at all. I knew that there was no salvaging that R. I have many of the same questions you do. Why not just leave me? Why torture me? Why not just make a decision.
My H left me for a year and a half while carrying on an affair. He did come home. I'm not convinced the affair ended or perhaps he started another. I have no idea. But it was months of pure hell having him back until I finally left. Life is funny sometimes and in its time, it teaches its own lessons. And as unhappy as I was at home, I'm telling you that there is a huge part of me that wants to go back. I am so afraid to make this final. I love my H, I am in love with my H. I find myself constantly having to remind myself what it was like when we were living together in order to prevent myself from getting on a plane and go back home. What a gf of your H will never have on you is a history... a history of love, devotion, protection, good times, etc. While he may be able to distract himself at the moment with someone else, those memories still have a pull. And I can't help but feel like these men who have affairs are affected by the fact that their wives keep standing even though they are acting cr&ppy. Somewhere in their mind, they know no one else would do that for them. But that's bad too, because they have no incentive to stop the behavior. It's a confusing mess for sure.
