Dewayne, Thanks for offering support. WAS should come with an instruction book. Then again, us LBS need one too. At least we have DBing as a general framework.
Busting, appreciate the hugs so much, especially based on how your sich is. I'm tired now; and will post on your thread tomorrow. Until then, remember as parents we can apply DB techniques to our little ones, namely Validate! That and hug them (turning your head to try to hide a tear or two doesn't hurt either). You are a very strong woman. Your kids are fortunate to have you.
Tori, Wow! Love your reply to your H. As far as finances, W and I are talking basic budgeting. No3rd party needed yet.
Recap of my day. W and I have the budget convo. Overall on track, amicable, and definitely tried to promote equality. Sharing and taking her ideas, along with mine.
We did get a little sidetracked. So evidently W and her IC are theorizing that I'm being extra nice and stuffing more anger. I simply replied, nope, I'm being nice to be nice. I'm truly dealing with anger issues better. I did validate her ongoing fears by letting her know I get it and that is be cautious if I were in her shoes. (literally said that). Other side track was the while her unhappy in our previous city vs me being unhappy with our newer home. We essentially moved away from my family and friends to be close to hers; and that a midpoint home would have been better. (i referenced a home that I recently saw online). She sat close to me and shared some home improvement ideas on her IPad / Pinterest. Really cool stuff. Near the end of the convo she became teary eyed. I asked if I could offer help / make a comment. She agreed, Dino told her one of my mantras. "You will be fine". She shook her head in somewhat disbelief. So I genuinely reiterated to that to her. She replied, you say that with tears in your eyes. My response, yes, I'm human and allowed to feel how I want. It wasn't a snarky comment either. I said all of it lovingly, as I meant it. Then i walked away to get ready to leave for the w/e. I think I did it all in a fair and I'm prepared to move forward "single" without having to "act as if". Spent most of the night with my bestfriend. Went to a boat / sports show and then had a late dinner. Overall good time getting out. Now back at the parents. Best friend and Dad each are encouraging me to "get on with it" in the sense of filing and dating. I validated there concerns and thanked them for looking out for me. So there's a theme of many close ones wanting me to start the D. I'm not ready to do that yet. I have started the new book, so far it has offered lots of insight into the WAS inner turmoil. I'm looking for the LBS POV.
That's it for now... Will check tomorrow for opinions on this recap.
