When tapestries of life get tangled in the loom.

[Big Bruce]

Good evening,
I understand all your advice, it makes sense.
I know I have to give it time, and I'm just checking here if what I'm doing is on track. Being accountable that's all.

Ok, going dark on my emails regarding when I was supposed to show up was a bad idea --> Lesson learned. It doesn't work.

Victim card. I don't know what to say. The promise was that no matter what , we would stick together. I mean no matter what. Through sickness, cheating, poverty, ML crisis, baldness, extra pounds, prison, name it. That was the promise. Well, I'm sorry, the other party lied to me. I may have been negligent, been a jerk and what not, but the deal was that we'd stick together until death did us part.

Parenting. For the moment it is very limited. Today I picked S up. Rushed to Mc Donald's to have him play in the play structure, rushed to Wal mart to see if I could find spare clothes and nappies, rushed to my place to play with him and read a book, rushed back to W's to be on time before being accused of being late.

I began asking W questions by email about S stuff. Should I continue?

Softening W's heart. It's a by-product only. I'm not focusing on it at the moment.

Detachment Still have to strike the right balance between less emails and shorter, and being warm and communicating about S.
I don't want W to have the impression I'm still pursuing her by playing overly interested in S.

Bitterness That's true, I still harbor some. Difficult to control though. I'm trying my best to not feel resentful or vindicative, or something. Thanks for pointing that out.

I know the assistant pastor of the previous church she used to attend (which her parents just left btw), who's got a 2-year-ish daughter. But they got a son two months ago too, so maybe not the best couple to go bother now.
Apart from them, I don't know anybody else.
Remember I arrived 6 months ago. It's not my culture or language or land, or anything. I don't know no one, and nothing in general on how things function. I have no family or friends yet. All I do is work and struggle the rest of the time to keep a normal-ish life, wash and eat. Very humbling experience indeed.

Thank you for the input, I'll keep posting from time to time. Journalling, only to make sure I'm doing the right thing.
God bless you all,
Au revoir,

Bruce.