I broke down and needed to take action so W would move on things. So I wrote an email.
"The sale of our house is quickly approaching. I am aware you have moved on to a new chapter in your life and you are now happy living your "single" life and have chosen to ignore me and your homeowner and marital responsibilities, but there are still a few issues we need to up before the Closing.
1. I apologize for being there when you and your friend came to the house to gather your things the other day, I was there to point out to you where your belongings were. I realize it is difficult for you to see me and discuss things, but I am trying to be adult about this and it is helpful for both parties involved to be present in order to sort the material items. You chose to ignore me and managed to leave many of your belongings in the house. It is not my responsibility to throw your things out nor to Fed Ex them to you. My responsibility to you ended when you walked out on me and our life together. Your things are still in the house and need to be removed by Monday, as agreed to in the Contract. I have taken what I had room for and am holding a few things of yours in the trunk of the car. We could incur a Closing penalty so please remove the balance of your belongings promptly.
2. You agreed to give me $$$$ per month to pay for the various housing expenses. To date you have only provided me with $$$ for the month of December and $0 for the month of January. Please let me know when I can expect payment or whether I should deduct that from your share of the sales proceeds. I supported you while you earned your degree, which helped you obtain the position you are in now, and was always willing to support you in anything you wanted to do.
3. I spoke with the buyers the other day. They were advised by their attorney to bring cash to the Closing to pay for the furniture items they will be purchasing. I had only asked for a check in my name so I could deposit it in our joint account so I wouldn't have to track you down for your signature.
4. While you have been living your new life I have been dealing with the home items that needed to be repaired according to the terms of the Contract. You offered no assistance with taking care of these items. As such, I will be deducting the $$$ for the roof repair (which was $$$) and the $$$ for the porch repair ( Which was $$$) from the Closing proceeds. Without your cooperation these responsiblies fell on me, and action needed to be taken or sale of our house would not proceed.
5. As you know, the proceeds from the sale of our home will be minimal, and there are still some shared financial obligations. I will be using the sale proceeds to pay off the following credit card debt; as of Jan. $#@: ($$$$$$) - which was used for a balance transfer to pay off off your card, (b) ($$$$$) which is the remaining balance our the trip (c.) ($$$$$) which is the furnace and our trip to.
The total of these items comes to $$$$$$.
Obviously any remaining balance would be equally divided.
Contrary to what you think, I do love you and I do miss you. I did not ask for, nor want this to happen. I am not "disgusting" nor "evil", and have done no harm to you. I tried to provide for us the best that I could. Obviously my best was not good enough. I am glad that you have been able to find yourself and are on a new journey. Hopefully you will be able to find whatever you felt was missing between us. Not many people have the selflessly love for another person as I have for you. I do not see how you are able just pack a few things leave and buy yourself a new life. It has not been as easy for me. Someone had to stay behind and pick up the pieces. Cleaning out the house and dealing with the mess of a life lost, sorting through our time together has hindered me from any peace through this process. I do not why you have concentrated on to on the hard times in life and just shut out all the good feelings and memories we shared. Certainly must be easier your way and to be able to paint a nice picture of your intimidating husband who took all the money, damaged and throw away your belongings. You might have moved back to your with your mother, but you are not single. We were not simply boyfriend-girlfriend, we are married. After we finish with the house there will still be matters to attend to.
Clearly by your lack of communication you do not want to have an adult discussion with me about this. You can look at any of the statements to verify my calculations. I am an honest, caring, and nice person and you know you can trust the calculations. The balance of sale proceed will be deposited in our joint account and dealt with from there.
Are you going to file the divorce papers you so adamantly wanted or is that something you are expecting me to do to?
I hope that you do find what you are looking for, cause it is obvious to me the W. I knew, promised to love and honor through both good times and bad, and cherish all the days of my life, does not want be found.
Sincerely,
H