Originally Posted By: PowerOfNow
25 it makes sense. That is why the other day I said "these people are F'd up" I meant it. It just opened my eyes to show me that I am not the only one in these situations. One girl has 22 alcoholics in her family. I was like jesus I had my dad 35 years ago. But the support so far from ACOA has been good and just understanding that it wasn't my fault and actually taking the step to recovery was nice. Keep going! IT's helping so yes it's a good thing. No judgement on that or your wife not wanting it, at this time.

I know my W probably heals different from me. I NEED to talk. She doesn't like to bring up the past because it triggers her anxiety. She admitted that she was an ACOA and that she could relate to everything in my red book I just received. She spoke about her father and having to be picked up by the cops at the local bar on his days with her. She also spoke about her mother divorcing him earlier enough where she wasn't exposed to things.

For me it wasn't the same luck. I was 3 years old and watch my dad beat my mother to a pulp. I hold my 3 year in my arms now and I CANT EVEN IMAGINE her being exposed to something like that. But as you say I WILL NOT BE HELD A VICTIM anymore. I will recover and I will not be a reactor going forward in my life.

PON, I hope you learn to VALUE how you have created a much better family life for your children than you were raised with. Be happy for that. Celebrate it.


I speak to my mother via txt or phone and I tell myself "I will not be her any longer." I will not be a manipulating over reactor for the rest of my life. Actually just set a boundary with my mother. I will not longer respond to her txt's unless its an emergency. My mother is the king of manipulation through guilt.

When you say you do not want to hang onto your pain and your released it. How do you release it.


Going to EE is how I did ^^that. Seriously...yes it's a process but it got a jumpstart there.


I know one thing that has helped me in the past is Charles Stanley. Search his audio archive on "forgiveness"

http://www.intouch.org/Broadcast/AudioArchives.aspx

Charles is an absolutely amazing speaker


((( )))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change