Re. Poss Dealing with OM

[GH31]

I need advice and support on how to deal with OM pursuing my W and even my W sleeping with OM?

Don't really know what to say about this LJC.

I know it hurts mate, but there is nothing any of us can do to control another human being.

Come here to vent.

1st Dec 12 she moved out to a house 2 mins round the corner which I was unhappy about but I could see the Pros and got use to it plus the School is on my road so they could walk to class etc

Does this mean you're now back in the family home?

During this time I found out she was in regular contact with one of her BF's brother who is married with kids himself and W and BF had fallen out over it and I got it thru to her that she was in the throws of an EA. She said this was over and no contact has been made since which as I've learnt I can't trust her or believe she is telling me the truth.

Good.

Rule Number One: All Cheaters Lie

You can tell they are lying because their mouths are moving. Forget about getting the truth from your Mrs.

There is more chance that the computer I'm typing on will start crying than there is that an active cheater will start telling the truth.

Best not to bring it up again.

Upto present day W is stressing as bills are starting to arrive on her mat and she is pressing me for regular maintenance payments which is what I've been doing since day one but she wants def days when she gets her money not 'when I remember' so she can stop stressing and budget

This is fair enough.

If you have a definite plan agreed for the payment of maintenance for the children I would give this to her and at the agreed time.

Personal integrity is a very important tenet of being a real man. Keep your word.

...but while she is stressing over money she is still regularly going out to the pub with friends spending money what she tells me she hasn't got! As well as this she is now attracting attention from OM which has just knocked me for six and really made me feel low again as I can't stop thinking about OM touching her while we are still officially married! She has given no indication she is seeing anyone nor that she wants to file for D.

This is different.

If she wants you to finance her drinking or an affair do not cave under any circumstances.

My W asked me several times for money whilst she was living with an OM, and we didn't have any kids back then. The answer was always a firm, gently uttered but very blunt "no".

Keep up your 180s and developing a life of your own.

It's the only way. Detaching is the only way to deal with those very intrusive thoughts about her banging an OM.

I have been there mate, know just how excruciating the pain is and you have my deepest sympathy.

Keep coming here and posting.

GH31