Well it's time for a new thread. I decided to title it "Making the most of where you are" because that is what we're all striving to do. Some are in different places in this journey. The beginning, middle, and I guess I would say "the other side". I don't want to call it "the end" because when we finally get to a place where we're happy, content, and over the majority of the heart ache, we're actually at a whole new beginning!
Folks, this personally has been a journey to hell and back for me. During the darkest times, the only thing that got me through was knowing I had to go on for my children. Even then I was so down I questioned if I was even worth sticking around for their sakes because I wasn't being the mom I used to be.
So if anyone reading this is in this spot, I understand. And I made it. You can and you will if you just decide NOT TO GIVE UP! It still won't be easy!
I think what helped me really get the process going was really getting in touch with my emotions over this whole ordeal. I personally was stuck in my own cognitive dissonance, of knowing better on one hand, yet completely devastated on the other. By pushing myself to really get in touch with my emotions, and understand why I was having them, it cleared the path to myself that I haven't been able to find in many years. You can do it too. I suggest REading Gary Zukav's books.
In all honesty, because Im in a good place now, Im feeling very nostaligic and missing my XH alot lately. I miss my friend, the laughter, the funny times, the funny stories, I mean we did have quite a ride together as a couple. I guess what saddens me is that will have to be stored in a very special memory box in my mind that I will cherish the rest of my life.
I still wish it could be different.
But what once was and what is now is completely different. And I know in my heart and soul, when XH isn't spewing in mental MLC, he remembers the good times too. I know he does.
