My mom was due home from the hospital yesterday, and as they were headed into their building my mom began to have trouble breathing and turned grey, so she was rushed back to the closest hospital and then in the middle of the night moved back to where she gets regular care in the next state over. So today was a little hairy but she looked good when I saw her, my dad's hangin in there, and my sister who is an ER nurse arrived in town to help out for the weekend. Another brother is coming in to stay with me for the weekend and help with them too.
So I texted H because S12 had a spelling bee today that he qualified for and was very excited about and hopeful of having family come to school to see him. I told H I was unexpectedly driving to the hospital the next state over to see mom, might not be back in time for the spelling bee, and if he could possibly go to the school S12 would really like it. I don't know if he ever got the message but he never mentioned it, or my mom, or the spelling bee, or anything that matters when he came over today.
He did open a speeding ticket I got driving late to SILs for the H family Christmas party on the 30th and hassled me about why I got a speeding ticket and exactly how far above the speed limit I was. 12 miles in case you were wondering. And he got p!ssy in a conversation about this year's taxes, which I just can't think about right now. I was using my 1/2 hour of free time for the day to prepare the financials for the boy scout committee meeting I needed to be at soon. I'm drained and stressed and H is just another source of grief for me. He brings nothing positive to my life right now and I wish he would make himself a little more scarce or be just 5% positive or pleasant while he's in my house.
It is so clear that what my mom has in my dad, who is caring for her through all kinds of unpleasantness, and who is there for her no matter what, and isn't crabbing about his rotten deal or how miserable he is or how he's just not getting his needs met from her, is NOT what I have, had, or would ever have in my H.
I don't know whose fault that is or if it's anyone's fault, but I'm sorry I spent so many years hoping for crumbs from him. It's worse than having no one.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
