When tapestries of life get tangled in the loom.

[25yearsmlc]

All great advice, thank you,

Got it. Young Bruce has to be perfect when I return him.
I will buy him extra clothes too, and diapers. (she usually gives me a bag, with diapers in it, a changing mat -that I lost last time- and his milk made of formula and natural milk).

Today she wrote she hadn't heard from me (well yeah, I have detached) and asked to postpone the visit. I wrote back no problem.


Just curious, why'd she want to postpone the visit? Did you ask? If not, why not? Remember it's more important that you make time with your son the priority- than being 'agreeable' to her, b/c that can look like time with him is no big deal.

Then I wrote another email, saying that when I bring S back I try for him to be clean, and I didn't see his wet socks, and I know that traces in the bum can cause a painful rash. And also that the muffin he had was just a crumb and I avoid fatty food for him --> This will reassure her that I pay attention.

I want her to see me as a responsible parent, (which I am by the way).

Okay good.

On the proceedings side, well, my L ask her L to encourage W to grant me more time with S, because they're postponing the hearing date. No formal response yet.

not sure what this^^ means. You want more time with your son BECAUSE the hearing is delayed? What does that mean? I don't see the relationship between the two.

I aked W if I could see S one more visit/week on Saturdays. No response yet neither.

Ask your L how much you can do right now, b/c I'd want more than a 2 hour visit. Otherwise how will you learn to put him to sleep or to bathe him regularly OR to have him overnight?

I assume that by now she must have read my sworn deposition. And regardless of whether she likes it or not, my attitude is detachment. No writing often emails. No long emails either. And when I do write, straight to the point. Only concerning S. And no more "how you're doing", " I hope you're doing fine", "See you later aligator" and "cheers". None of this anymore.

She needs the space to sort out whatever she needs to.
In the meantime, I'm working on being a good dad, changing diapers and all.

So, it's kind of status quo for the moment.
Any ideas on how I should handle the sitch?
Thanx,
B.

I think this is the way to handle things.

Keep in mind that it takes this behavior + TIME and you have not had much time doing it. SHE hasn't had much time.

All she knows is that who you WERE...and not much about who you want to become...that takes time + consistent change on your end.

So keep making the changes and give it more time. A lot more time.

Legally, I'd rush nothing, EXCEPT more time with your son.