ILYBINILWY

[FloydMan]

CV,

“Jumping off a 3-story roof and believing I'll be fine when gravity tends to prove otherwise would simply be foolishness”.
This has nothing to do with faith, but everything to do with bad judgement. Gravity is the proof. You know the outcome based on the knowledge of gravity. You do not know the outcome of your sitch with the methods applied or to be applied yet. One can create their own negative outcome by prophesizing a negative outcome.
I have faith in myself and you do too. Would you equate yourself to jumping off a building? I wouldn’t.

“FM, I agree that he's acknowledged his behavior, but I don't get the idea that he thinks it's bad.”
He knows it’s bad because he has acknowledged it and tail is between his legs. Sorry for the dog metaphor again, but you know what I mean.

“His wish list indicates that he just wants me to accept it.”
Your wish list will include that you won’t accept it, and nor should you. This will be worked on. He is trying because it not been kept in check for so long. With my W and I, she is very controlling and I was always too compliant with every whim. With our first MC I was taking notes as I wanted to learn. This bothered H and she did not want me take notes and refused to do anymore unless I stopped. The MC told me it was fine and I could if I wanted. In my one on one with the MC she told me it was my fault for letting W get away with controlling me for so long that she feels it is natural now and can get away with it. I was ‘conditioned’. Your H has been conditioned because he got away with it so long. This is where we all contribute to the relationship dynamics, like it or not. You can reverse it but it is not a switch. He does know it’s bad though.


“I'm missing this. How do I find that out?”
As I said, it is over time as he slowly opens up. He has cracked the door open a little. Don’t yank it as it will scare him. I made that mistake. Trust me on that. You have been patient this far, you are doing well. Keep it going.