What I'm learning from H stages, disappointment.

[albamarie]

thank you Snodderly! Yes, h is very depressed and from what I have been reading there is a section in the brain that can actually be irreversibly damaged due to depression. I have to read about it some more before I continue to comment.

Journalling-
yesterday I went to my C, I felt good going in and felt even better coming out. I haven't been to him in a while, and he was able to see the change in me. One of the biggest was I was able to put the focus on myself and not spend the session explaining what H was doing.

I professed to the C that I was done with my R and coming to him to work on how to move forward for myself. He said the one thing he recognizes is when a woman says she's done, she has struggled to get to that point and she means it.

Having talked to H, and seeing that he really is a good guy, said there is still hope that one day he will wake up and make the effort to repair our R and work on a new M, being that this M is dead.

I felt like a big weight has been lifted off my life! I know there will be backslides and I am preparing for them so I can have a speedy recover.

I spoke to the C about h moving out, how he asks me to "let" him, how I try to demand it, and how nothing happens. C said he is so filled with guilt, and confusion, and I am Wendy to his Peter Pan. Oh, great! That make ea Tinker bell!

C said there is really no point in keep mentioning it, as H gets that I am asking him to leave, he's just ignoring that I am at a better place about it now. C asked me what would be best for me and I said if H left. Were going to work on what I can do for me about this.

Ever since my S21 spoke to H about getting stronger, getting help, and to except his help, H moved out of the living rm, is asking for help with minut things, and jumping into my bed in the morning after work.

I don't know how I feel about that, so I just go back to sleep as if! He's not even on the edge, he's against my back, yea not sure about that so for now I view him as my "ole friend H"