Thank you for your kind words, CV. They mean a lot! No fast way out of pain, just got to keep going.
Jumping off a 3 story building believing you will live may be the second definition of insanity. We are talking about faith in a person, in an idea. If God came down and told you to jump off that building, you could do so in faith, otherwise, that's not faith.
Now, I'm not saying you don't have valid arguments here. My H is very gifted in the art of illusion. He can say an awful lot and make me believe red is blue.
But what you want are some assurances and you aren't going to get them. If you make yourself vulnerable, you could get hurt. No doubt about it. But if you don't, you aren't going to find out how sincere your H is. There are a whole bunch of spouses on here who screwed up and screwed up bad. And they are looking for another chance. Many of those corresponding WAW spouses may believe what you do... my H/W is a master of illusion and all this DB'ing they are doing is just complete BS. They aren't going to find out unless they open their hearts again. Some do, some don't.
Your H has not had the benefit of DB. And in many ways is sort of flitting about. He, again, knows something is wrong. He knows you are not happy and he wants to do something about it. And I repeat, if it were solely about sex, he could get that anywhere. Seen plenty of men do that. But it's very much about you. As I stated before, from an outsider's perspective, that's fairly clear.
So, it's decision time, my dear. You want in? Then you get in. Otherwise a part of your mind is always elsewhere. You are working on the marriage and the exit plan. And that doesn't work at all. There is no advice that will work here until that decision gets made. You will simply be spinning your wheels.
