LIS, I think about you a lot. I know your sitch can't be easy. I pray for you everyday that it gets better. I know it will, but I want it to hurry up.
lol! Okay, so the reason I say I'm not mind-reading H's motivation is because he said that's his motivation. I asked him why we couldn't just continue as we were for the last month, where I was modifying my interactions with him to cover all his complaints (being pleasant, not controlling, not criticizing, not expecting conversation, etc.) and he seemed quite happy with it. He answered because he wants to have sex with his W and realizes he's not going to get that need of his met without meeting some of my needs. So, that's something anyway.
FM, I agree that he's acknowledged his behavior, but I don't get the idea that he thinks it's bad. Isn't that necessary, even for a first step? His wish list indicates that he just wants me to accept it. Also, you said, "This should answer your question of how you find out what you are doing wrong." I'm missing this. How do I find that out?
Originally Posted By: LIS
Faith is believing in something when there is no proof that it is true.
How does one still have faith when there's every reason to believe it's NOT true? Jumping off a 3-story roof and believing I'll be fine when gravity tends to prove otherwise would simply be foolishness. I don't know if I'm "there." Perhaps I'm still in denial, but I'd like to die knowing I tried everything.
SS, I don't think I'm that smart. I don't know what makes me intimidating. I find people intimidating when I know they'll physically harm me, or will employ unethical means to get something from me. With that, there are no rules, no way to know how to engage. I don't find rules intimidating. Then I know what to expect. And I find people that are capable intriguing. I would love to understand this somehow.
You're right in that I may have the same issue with my H as you had with your first. I may get where you got to. I may already be there. I'm just so easily sukked in by H's actions, unfortunately.
