As far as the thoughts of OM and your wife I get it. It hurts. It will get better in time but sometimes the thought of it would drop me to my knees. Just felt like someone was tearing up my insides. Hell about 2 weeks ago I was having dreams about it and thoughts constantly and since I didn't have my kids for that time I didn't leave my apt for 4 days.
I wish I had a magic solution to ease the pain for you but i think in time it will lessen. Like AS said at this pt marrige vows have been broken so the marrige cert is just a piece of paper. You have no control over anything but yourself. Try not to think of what shes doing. That isn't a road to helping you. If you start thinking of it, try to switch to thinking of something else. Kids, Work, hobby, tv shows, anything else. And find someone to talk about it with. For me it seems like the more I discuss it the more I can accept it.
Keep up with the 180's and GAL. If they are true changes for you she will notice! You have kids togethor so you are forced to be in contact so anytime you see her try to be upbeat and positive. Fake it if you have to! I hope this helps
