Rinse, repeat, replay

[Raine]

My close friends know, and I have three who I'm very close to now, each of whom have gone through a D. The last thing I want is people I barely know coming up to me asking me how I'm doing or trying to contact H.

Had a long talk with H's mother that was really good. It was interesting to relate what is going on with H to his father. His parents adore me, so that has definitely made things easier. It's difficult to be in a position where you feel like people you don't know well are looking at you like you're some terrible person. I know I'm not perfect, far from it, but I'm not some monster.

I'm happy that I have some pieces of hope every once in awhile. A few days ago H actually asked me how I was doing, and it seemed really genuine. I said I was doing good. And he pried a bit further and I said, yes I'm good. This is the first time he has asked me how I was since before BD in August.