ILYBINILWY

[scaredsilly]

CV, your H sounds like a combination of my first H and my present one. as i said, my first was just unable to be what i needed. i could have done all the DB'ing in the world but it would not have made a difference. he would try to be sensitive but it was so against the grain that it couldn't last. he grew up with four brothers and a really macho father. they knew nothing about women except how to have sex with them (and not good sex, either).

my present H feels like yours does. he's told me that i'm "a better arguer" and that's why he can't make his point (or give examples, as in your case).

i think your H is very intimidated by you (hell, i am). he knows you're very, very smart. he knows you have standards you won't compromise and he's unable to meet them.

i think he wants you to love him but he doesn't know how to make that happen. he's just "unable", like my first H, but he doesn't want to take any responsibility for it.

there may not be any way to "fix" this? you may just have to settle until you're not willing to settle anymore?