Another "I love you" from W on the phone last night. This time I was unsure of how to reply. I paused for a second, then said "Talk to you later".
Well, usually the WAS quits saying ILY and that's why DB'ing counsels not to say it, because basically it reminds the WAS that they're not on the same page. But if your W is saying it, then I see no harm in saying it back to her. Because in your case you're not saying something contradictory to her thoughts.
Quote:
It was at the end of a conversation we had after my wife had dinner with a lady friend who is part of a couple that we used to swing with. This particular couple had broken things off with us late last year kind of mysteriously and unexpectedly, but during dinner last night with W apparently talked of how much they want to get back together with us. Not entirely sure how to handle that, or how much (or even if), my W talked about the problems we're having.
I really have no problem with your chosen path, but it's unprecedented around here to have other people voluntarily involved at a sexual level with a couple having marital problems so I have no idea what to tell you. It seems like you think it would be better to resolve your marriage issues outside of swinging and I would tend to agree with you. It just seems like involving other people right now would make things enormously complicated. I know swinging is regarded as NSA, but anytime people are having sex you can't help but develop some kind of emotional bond (some greater than others), and it just seems like that would get in the way of healing the M.
