You mention conveying the right or wrong message, but I don't think that's the issue here.

I've gotten some great advice. Recently I got good, but conflicting advice from chatterbug and Valeska19. It was hard deciding which road to take, b/c they both had valid points.
When I read your thread I see you getting good advice as well. Good, corresponding advice.
Be open to it, take it in and do some soul searching. Be honest with yourself.

Together for 8,5 years.
S2
Interest in OM.
She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out.
No signs of OM, not digging.
Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.