H keeps saying he wants to have some conversation. I won't read into his motive or approach, but it's still rather crazy-making for me.
But I'd like to pretend for just one minute like I'm a true-n-blue LBS that is listening openly to my H's complaints so that I can focus on me and do 180's and make myself a W that is too good to leave thereby saving my M and creating a secure home life for S12 and living happily ever after. So, yes, I'm pulling a little switcheroo - sorry.
So last night, H and I were having a discussion that got interrupted by a page from work, so he had to step away. It was a rather awkward place to end and it left me a little dazed, but I still managed an amiable parting. After he finished his work, he came to my bedroom (I was lying in bed thinking) and asked if I wanted to continue. It was late and I knew he was tired and I had way too much flying around in my head to make it quick, so I passed.
I followed it up with an email this morning:
Quote:
I appreciate your willingness to continue our conversation after you finished with work. But I knew what I was chewing on in my head and it wasn't going to be a quick conclusion, so I hope you appreciate my sensitivity to your need for a good night's sleep.
So this is how I remember the conversation last night: H: I'm the one always having to give in because you're so hard-headed. CV: That's not how I see it. I can think of a ton of things I've given in on (leather sofas, RV, boating vs. floating, etc.) Can you give me some example where you've given in to me, especially since you think you do it all the time? H: (long silence) No, I can't think of any examples. CV: So why do you hold that belief or position if you have nothing to base it on? H: Well it's just a personality trait of mine, that I need to inflate myself or exaggerate things about myself.
So if I'm to understand correctly, it's just your personality trait that results in you painting yourself "good" (flexible, generous) and me "bad" (hard-headed, selfish).
So I accept what you're saying. I'm not going to argue with you or try to change you.
Can you see this personality trait of yours being any hindrance to my wanting to be around you?
To which he replied, "Absolutely."
So, pretending that I'm a LBS that is trying to do 180's, what would you advise me to do?
