Let me ask you this, in the cold hard light of day, what could you have done differently? I ask because it's here that change really takes place, metal is forged in heat.
First off I would have read my Bible somewhere hidden so she couldn't have found me and we didn't have to fight. Stupid me reading it at the table . Seriously though I should have deescalated discussion as soon as it started and left the room. I know she's in this fog and every time we talk I feel like I'm in the twilight zone so there isn't any reason for me to even get into these types of talks with her at this time. With all the shock and awe she threw at me I think overall I handled it pretty well. I did slip up one time after she said I wouldn't get kids anymore and said something I wished I hadn't. I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth and that's when I got my emotions back in check.
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I think that talking to her IC about the kids shows that she is concerned about them.
I know she is. The part that worries me is she just doesn't know how to handle it or process it. Her initial (and seems to be only) defense on anything is to blame someone, or something, else and even create lies to justify this belief. Right now the stakes are too high with the kids and I can't accept it anymore. Better to agree to disagree and not discuss.
Originally Posted By: Breakdown
Frankly, I wouldn't say anything to her about the kids....parent the best you can, just like if you were already D'd. If she brings it up, then discuss it, but otherwise back off.
I agree and this is my current plan. It's more productive to bang my head against a wall then to talk with W about kids in her current state of mind.
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Recognize it before you start down that path of discussion.
LOL, pretty much what I put above for things I would have done differently last night. Guess I should have read your post before responding. I'm getting better at DBing for with regards to me but man is it tough when kid topic comes up. Not really sure if that's even considered DBing or just something I have to deal with as real as I can.
And thanks again to all of you for the support and always responding in my posts. The support helps so much and I have no idea where I would be without you guys. I'm surprisingly doing ok even with my world being turned upside down and inside out and my W turning into something I don't even recognize anymore. No chance I'd be in this frame of mind without these boards. Time to go for a quick lunch run (never stop GALing)
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
. Seriously though I should have deescalated discussion as soon as it started and left the room. I know she's in this fog and every time we talk I feel like I'm in the twilight zone so there isn't any reason for me to even get into these types of talks with her at this time. With all the shock and awe she threw at me I think overall I handled it pretty well. I did slip up one time after she said I wouldn't get kids anymore and said something I wished I hadn't. I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth and that's when I got my emotions back in check.
