However, over the last 2 days this is changing. I have snapped into the confident woman I was 6 months ago, and he seems to have responded.
That's great, what you're doing is working, so keep doing it!! Don't pursue him, just maintain your distance and keep going with the "confident woman", that's exactly what you need to do
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Yes, I have both been doing this, although I am not entirely sure what his LL is so have been trying them all sequentially.
That's not a bad approach, even though people have a PLL that doesn't mean they don't respond to the other LL's, just maybe not as strongly. But they're all valid ways to show love.
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I told him that I had felt very confused and that I had not hated him but I hated the secrecy. I think he was very very hurt but I also wonder if he was finding reasons to vindicate our failing marriage. I would be in a much better position if I had not lost control. I don't really know if there is anything specific I can do about that now.
I wouldn't worry about it, it sounds like you offered a good explanation. We ALL backslide in our DB'ing efforts, Michele even addresses it in DR and says when it happens just learn from it, dust yourself off and continue with the DB'ing.
